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Hi. It’s been almost 3weeks after I’ve given birth. Here’s to type out my birth story so that one day, Maiya can come across this and read it for herself..

9th April 2010, 5:15AM - The water bag burst
I was half awake thinking about gng to the toilet to release my bladder but I had to first wake Mr. so that he could accompany me to the toilet. But before I had a chance to wake up, a gush of water escape out of me. Initially, I thot I pee-d on my bed but then my bladder still felt full! So it must be the water bag!

I woke up Mr. and he jumped outta bed like a Ninja. I told him my water bag burst. He asked if I was sure and I said I dunno, why dun u chk? So he walked over to my side of the bed and examined the water and true enuff, he said: yes, it’s the water bag. Call Papa, I said. He got undressed and called Papa while I was still lying in bed in the pool of water. Mr. told me not to stand or move yet.

Papa didn’t answer Mr’s call the first time but returned call almost immediately. When Papa knew abt the water bag, next thing I knew, Mama was at my bedroom door and she helped me up while I had a towel tucked in between my legs to prevent the water from leaking to the carpet. I told mama: Mama, I wet my bed (instead of I’m giving birth)!

Mr. called the hospital’s emergency number while I made my way to the bathroom. I took the quickest shower I ever had since pregnancy and managed to put on a little bit of make up.. And headed out the door at 5:30am.

The last time I took a picture while I'm still pregnant!

6:00AM - registered at Raffles Hospital
Papa drove us to the hospital juz in case I was in any sort of labour emergency thn Mr. wouldn’t need to think abt parking the car first and registering me. My brother who was on off day also sent me to the hosp. On the way to the hospital, I didn’t feel any pain nor any contractions. Mr. even took a picture of us in the car, as a momento of our final pregnant moment before the birth. And I also smsed my 4 fave babes of the exciting news!

Upon reaching the hospital we were greeted with 2 nurses who were very friendly and escorted us to the delivery suite. Papa then went to work and Bou stayed behind to wait for Maiya’s arrival.

In the delivery suite, the nurse asked if I am having contractions and I said I wasn’t sure cuz there wasn’t any pain nor any tightening around the tummy. Only after, she strapped on the stuffs to listen to baby’s heart beat and my contractions, that we found out I’m having regular contractions every 3 mins! The nurse also checked and I was 3cm dilated.

The nurse then introduced me to something called pain-score:

0-3: mild pain
4-7: moderate pain
8-10: severe pain

Apparently, my pain-score from then till at abt 730am was ZERO. I took tt time to sms my bosses, relatives and spend time updating FB and Twitter. I even took a quick nap because my sleep was cut short tt morning! Lol. 4 different nurses asked me if I wanted epidural and I firmly said I do not want them. My pain relief plan was 1. Gas 2. Thigh injection (which only lasts for 4hrs)

I was lying on the bed and took this picture.

7:30am - Pain score of 2
During this time, I was relieved of those straps and was allowed to walk around. By then, my MIL, elder SIL and brother were all gathered at the lobby waiting for the birth. I walked out to greet them and to tell them tt I was feeling ok with a little pain. I read on the net tt walking during this stage of labour will ease the pain.. *shrugs* we took some funny pictures in between the contractions at the lobby! After hanging out for a few minutes, I walked back to the delivery suite and tried to relax myself. The nurse came by again to strap me on and I couldn’t get outta bed anymore. So I continued my nap in between contractions to take my mind of the pain. Time check was abt 9-ish am with pain score of maybe 3 or 4.

Smile... even tho you're hurting (like hell)

11:10AM - 7cm dilated and pain score of 7
By this time, I was already high from lack of sleep and the pain was intensifying and I told Mr. to ask for the Entonox gas.  When I was given the gas, I didn’t know how to use it. Apparently, one is supposed to RELAX and ENJOY inhaling the gas for it to take effect. So, the gas didn’t do much to ease my pain cuz my brain was too focus feeling the pain that I wasn’t relax at all! Nurse came to check on me and I was 7cm dilated. I continued to sleep.

12:30PM - 9cm dilated and possibly in severe pain
I endured for another hour or so when my gynae came to check on me and I was 9cm dilated and she said she’ll be seeing me in about an hour. In another few minutes, I told Mr. that I needed the thigh injection cuz the pain was excrutiating! The nurse came in and told us that since I was 9cm dilated it’s already too late for the thigh injection cuz it will affect the baby’s respitory system and it’s not advisable. So, I went ahead with juz the gas - which doesn’t have any much effect. Bleargh.

1:30PM - I have the urge to push
By this time, I think the pain score is way above 10! But surprisingly, my body automatically felt the urge to push and I didn’t realise that I was pushing till the nurse manager mentioned it. She and the midwife then prepared me and taught me on the breathing and pushing counts. I was pushing till abt 1:50PM when the gynae finally came!

1:50PM to 2:15PM - The birth of Maiya Ayunie
Gynae came and put on the green surgical wear, covered both my legs with the same green cloth and told me to start pushing. By then, I was already off the gas so all the pain, the urge to push, I felt them!

I couldn’t put in words how painful labour was but I knew it was like u’re having a very bad stomachache…. Imagine that but times ten!

I didn’t hear what the gynae was saying, in between the pain and the pushing, all I heard was ‘Push!’. Without hearing that her head was out, I heard the gynae said, ‘One hand is out!’ then followed by an urgent and terrifying ‘PUSH!!’

I thot the baby was in danger so I pushed with all I had.. And then I felt a huge something glided out of me and then the pain magically, miraculously vanished.

As I was pushing earlier, I was prepared to pump up another 20% of pain threshold so I was pleasantly surprised when the pain was gone immediately!

Next thing I knew, Mr. was sobbing and smiling at the same time and I heard gynae said ‘Come Daddy, cut here..’ I assume was to cut the umbilical cord. Heh. And then…. I heard the baby cried.
And the gynae put her on me and then I cried - tears of joy. I did it! I delivered a healthy baby girl.

I felt everything, when the gynae snip a bit of me, when Maiya’s head was pushing thru, when the placenta was delivered, when the gynae stitched me back up… Everything. But it was all worth it.

After the safe delivery (no they didn’t provide me with a glass of hot milo), I fell asleep and I think I snored cuz the midwife came to inform me of my ward and bed and she also told me tt I was snoring probably cuz I was dead tired. Heh.

So that’s the story. I safely delivered a healthy baby girl on 9 April 2010 at 2:15PM. She weighs 3.005KG and was 48cm at birth.

We named her Maiya Ayunie which means reliable and elegant.

HAWT from the oven - freshness!

I’d like to have the  time and inspiration to blog daily from this day forward. Somehow I’m feeling as though my time is running out and I have to type down all the things that’s gng through my head. it has been 2 weeks since my last post and I’m pleased and thankful to Allah that I’m now 36weeks + 2days pregnant. Alhamdulillah.

How’s Baby Maiya doing in my womb?
The last check up at 36weeks, gynae has officially said: “Aiyo, Baby is fat and she has chubby cheeks!” All this in one breath. “She now weighs 2.6kg…”

I smiled and then, the smile faded. If Maiya decides to come and meet the world at 40 weeks (that’s another 4 more weeks), she is gonna gain her last 1kg (as expected and the normal trend for babies & pregnancy). And if so, she is gonna be 3.6kg at birth! Gynae’s very concern of how I am to push her out from my ‘down-there’ and she said that I may even have to go for c-sect.

I wanted to cry.

I remembered the horror stories of my parents love journey.. on how they met, their engagement years and the sadness, bitterness & anger that my mum felt during that time and finally their blissful wedding..

So when I got engaged, I was prepared for the worst - the heartache, the silence, the drama, the infidelity, the cheatings.. I was prepared for that. And if he EVER do these, I’m gonna call it quits without even thinking twice cuz I will not go through it like my mum did. No one man is worth the heartache and my tears. I swore by that.

But the challenges during my courtship years were so much different from hers, my mum. and one that I wasnt prepared for… the distance, the longing and the fear of losing him. 3 months after the engagement, he left for Dubai. I had a strong feeling that he wouldnt cheat on me.. that wasnt my fear but my fear was not to be able to see him and hear him as often as I’d like to. and that hurts.

3 months before the wedding, he went for an operation and I feared that it wouldnt be a success and that I’d lose him forever and what if I had to bury him 6-feet under? I definitely couldnt stand the thought of that. I remembered crying buckets and it didnt matter who was there with me at that time - his mum or my mum or whoever it was.. I just cried and cried.

What I’m trying to say here is this: I can be very well prepared for things to come and plan ahead on stuffs but in the end, the Big Guy Up There is the one with the final say and one who decides and paints me whatever picture I’m supposed to go through.

So, similarly and coming back to the story at hand… I am very prepared mentally to push her out from my ‘down there’ and there WILL be pain and it WILL be excrutiating but I am ready. Mentally ready. Physically, I am still working on it, swimming, squats, half-squats… What i couldnt control is how fast Maiya’s absorbing all the nutrients (or sugar!) from me. and I certainly didnt prepare myself - mentally or physically - for a c-sect procedure.

I’m not afraid of labour but i am scared shit of c-sect.

And so the gynae advised me again on food intake.. less carbo, more vegetables, fruits, meat, fish.. fish is good, she said. definitely no desserts - no cakes, muffins, brownies, ice cream, chocolates… today is my second no-sinful-treats-no-more day and I hope my weight results show positively in next week’s chk up. So, help me Maiya and help me God.

Today…. is the first day of April. And tick tock, tick tock, the clocks ticking and Maiya’s coming. =D

These past weeks, I’ve been thinking a lot about labour. And with a few friends delivering in Mar, I get to ask them on their experience. Though I’ll never know how mine would turn out until the day itself… but I’d like to prepare myself.

A friend told me that she intended to go all natural without epidural for her delivery - which is what I want. She managed to tolerate to a certain point before she asked for a entonox injection on her thigh. I am TERRIFIED of pain. so I hope and pray hard that God is merciful and plan the best delivery route for me. and I hope His plan includes no operation / c-sect or what-so-ever. I am terrified of the recovery process and the wound and not to mention the pain, of course.

I told Maiya (in private) when I have chances to work with me. To give me labour signs when she is ready. To come out as soon as or slightly after full term and not to stay in there for too long. I told her to come out soonest she can during labour to have sympathy on me and my fear of pain. Since I have decided that I will go without epidural or any pain relief plans. Yes, I am trying to be a super hero here but i just gotta try. I’ve been preparing myself for labour since my 5th pregnancy month. I can do this. I can do this.

Anyway, it’s 2 more weeks to 36weeks, Full Term. I’ve been doing my half squats (prepare for labour) and gng to the swimming pool weekly (relief my backache) and been eating. Baby Maiya needs to gain another 1KG to be ready for the world.

We’re ready for you, Baby. Just waiting for your arrival. =D

I do not know how long more.. or how many more blog entries I can post before I am due to deliver. But I will do as often as I can when I get the chance to, like now.

I went online shopping after resisting for the last 7 months. Everyone kept telling me to ONLY shop after the 7th month because for fear that mishaps happen. On the other hand, colleagues adviced me to shop during the 2nd trimester because I will not feel so exhausted. But anyway, i only started last weekend - online shopping. I will take some pictures and publish it here.. otherwise it can be found on my FB.

As I tore the 2 registered parcels, I was pretty excited to see the actual product, to touch it and feel it. and they’re so tiny. I held it up, admiring it with only 2 fingers from each hand. it’s so small.

Even with a huge protruding stomach and walking like a slow-moving vehicle, it’s still unbelievable and surreal that I am gonna have a lil babe. Nine months is a short time. I picked up one onesies and asked aloud, “am i gonna be a mum already?”.

My dad chuckled and ruffled my hair as he said, “Yes, you are…”

I sniffed. I will finally get to know how my parents love me. and I’m afraid. Afraid to think of the times I ever felt angry towards them or the times I’ve done / said nasty things to them because I wanted to hurt them when all they would ever do is to provide me with the best and love me unconditionally. and I felt so guilty.

I came across one piece that I specially bought for my dad. One that says ‘Grandpa’s Little Princess’. After he ruffled my hair, I realised that yes, I am still his little princess but he will have another little princess to dote on. Not that I’m jealous, but I felt like I’m forced to grow up. Not that I’m complaining, but it’s a scary-yet-exciting experience at the same time. I’m gonna be responsible for this kid’s life. Her well-being, her education, her behaviours.. and I’m afraid that I couldnt live up to my own expectations.

Growing old is a must but growing up is optional, right?

Anyhow…. this lil babe will be OUR Little Princess.

Wow. time flies. Another month has gone by and I’m going into my 8 months already.. I’ll be full term at 37 weeks - that’s about 5 weeks away. So I can declare that Maiya’s coming in 8 weeks or less! I’m pretty thrilled thinking about her arrival.

So, am I prepared?

Financially, alhamdulillah… we have been blessed these few months and we’re almost there with the savings.

Intellectually, I dunno how to prepare for that since part of my brain has been labelled ‘pregnancy brain’.

Physically, I need to start doing my squads. It sounds pretty easy really - just 5x squads in the morning and 5x squads in the night. But with the baby’s weight pounding up and the breathlessness - that’s when these 10/day squads are challenging! BUT! I must do them nevertheless, so that it’s easier for a normal delivery. I’m counting on that actually. heh.

Mentally, I’ve already prepared myself since my 5th month when I’ve decided I’ll go all natural without any pain relief plans - no gas, no anesthetic and definitely no epidural. It will be a test of my endurance and pain tolerance but I am willing to go through all that and feel all the pain and the tearing for this baby. I’ll only then know how painful and life-risking my mum went through to give birth to me.

Emotionally, I know I will be overwhelmed with the entire labour process, be it the pain that I feel, the encouragement and support I hope to get from my labour partner, the husband or the final relief of pushing her into this world. So will I cry? In pain: I hope not, cuz I want to preserve my voice for future karaoke sessions. In seeing her for the first time: MOST LIKELY.

Spiritually, Yes. InsyaAllah. I have faith in Him to guide me for He knows what is the best for me. I believe.

I’ve gotten my maternity photos from Nor and I love them! A special beautiful memory of my pregnancy. And here’s to document the Joys of Pregnancy before I forget how they feel, look, taste like.

Joys of Pregnancy:
#1: The morning sickness that lasted for 3 weeks Wk 10 - Wk 12. Morning breakkie routine - 2 slices of kaya/butter toasted bread and 1 yakult (apple or original flavour). This is because when I vomit out at 9:30am every morning, the after taste is yakult and it’s sweet. =D

#2: You are Queen. You’re being treated like one. You dun carry heavy things even when you go grocery shopping, you get to choose where to have your lunch because you’re priority since you’re most like have cravings. People you love and work with hold your hand when you cross the road, take the escalator, take the stairs. You’re allowed to walk slowly. and commuters give up their seats for you.

#3: You see your body changes. at 8 weeks pregnant, my hips has grown. lol. and they have grown since.

#4: Double Chin.

#5: Go Shopping! You get to go shopping for your maternity clothes. Though I thot those are too expensive to invest in and you’ll only get to wear for 9 months! but considering that there’s now preggy and post preggy maternity clothes.. can still consider. And, for the little one. you get excited to see apparels sewn into really tiny pieces to fit into this tiny body. but in VERY HUGE prices!

#6: Stretch marks. Some people are lucky not to have them. Some people worsen them by scratching them. Why are they itchy? because your tummy stretches and it just itches. haha. But i think they’re part of what you have to go through during pregnancy. So apply those lotion and embrace it.

#7: Backaches. ’nuff said.

#8: Ultra scan pictures. You get to see your gynae every month for an update on the baby. Her heartbeat, her growth, her gender. You get to bring little keepsakes home from the gynae cuz they printed them out for you.

#9: She’s with you all the time. When you sleep, go to work, bathe, take a crap, watch movies, eat everything for a whole 9 months. You speak to her - though it’s a one way conversation but trust that she hears you.

#10: Her arrival. Anxiousness.